"Have you ever dealt with people who have lost everything in an
hour? In The MorningYou leave the house where your wife, your children,
your parents live. You return to find only a smoking pit. Something in
you snaps - to a certain extent you stop being human. You have no need
for money or glory, revenge is your only joy. And because you no longer
cling to life, Death avoids you, The bullets fly past. You become a
WOLF...."
- Russian General Aleksander Lebed, Veteran Of Afghanistan
This is a growing list of quotes
I enjoy. Some I have heard. Some I have read. And some happen to me and
are memorable enough for me to include here. Not all are happy.
Afterall, I am not always a happy man. The joys in my life now come
because of my life with my girl, Rita. But sometimes there are
darknesses in me even SHE cannot shine a light into. But these bring a
smile to my face as well. I hope you enjoy them as I do.
Bare.
"Stop thinking Prague police and start thinking playstation! Blow shit up!" Xander Cage, XXX
"If you send someone to save the world, make sure he likes it the way it is." Xander Cage, XXX
"Well since I can't list DEATH as the cause of death, well... you can see my predicament." Natalie, Forever Knight
"Found out that touching something that is 204.3 degrees farenhieght, hurts. " told to me by a friend named Ouklae.
"Imitation is the sincerest form of mockery." DNRC newsletter.
"I'd give an arm to be ambidextrous!" DNRC newsletter.
" I plan on writing an essay called 'Technology, prohibition and the
four poster bed' but not right now. Right now I'm just gonna watch the
girls dance." Myself to Ubar Scar Statosky.
"Love is never having to say your sor...Damn, Ow, Fuck, ok, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I forget. someone I knew, though.
"Nothing says Lovin like a sharp, jagged, stick up the ass!" Lorelai, Black Tapestries.
"You need to check your weapon"
" I did. It's there" from Wontalla's comic about the heroic H
“If I’m dumb enough to buy water, I’m certainly dumb enough to pay too much for it!” , Scott Adams
"The man who would speak the truth would be wise to keep one hand on his sword", unknown
When you need to backup your threat, someone writhing on the floor in pain is almost as good as a body. Sometimes it's better.
--Anita Blake
"I'll show you what a "butter knife" can do", Chaz from "HATE"
"Never believe a rabbit is harmless just 'cause it's pink,"Rachel, Las Lindas
"We listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance.", Giles from BTVS
"She had 'genuine molded plastic' stamped on her ass.", Tara from BTVS
" I was patient. But it took too long." Anya from BTVS
"She is not descended from a long line of mystical warriors. She is descended from a toaster oven." Anya from BTVS
"It's like evolution, only without the 'getting better' part." Anya from BTVS
"Learn from your mistakes. So you can repeat them -- precisely", Trevor Goodchild; Aeon Flux
"Here they knew, and would acknowledge, the dark truths of human life,
that, in the end, there was only gold, and power, and the bodies of
women, and the steel of weapons", Tarl Cabot; Raiders of Gor
"Admitting that you're an asshole is the first step!", anonymous.
"Behind every fear is a wish",anonymous.
"I admit I went over to the Dark Side...But, just to pick up a few things and now I'm back"
"Drugs may lead to nowhere...But , at least it's the scenic route."
"I never just derail a train of thought. I make wrecks that catch the cars on fire," Sam Starfall, Freefall webcomic.
"Alzheimers can't be all bad. It gives you a chance to meet new people everyday."
"The only thing money can't buy is poverty," Dr. Stanley August
"It's about time, Fucko!" my co-worker Joe, after I told him I was
taking a lesson from his own selfish attitude and charged him $10 for
using some space in my work locker for storage instead of letting him
use it for free.
"Why adopt someone else's screwed up kid when you can breed one of your own?" Ma Grrsn
"It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation," a fortune in a fortune cookie.
"i dont know how it happened Master, i just woke up and it was in my mouth!", Sureibu Sillanpaa.
"Heaven is just a sin away, Master," slave Delicia Elytis to myself at a dance club.
"I am never late. It is only that sometimes it takes me longer to be on time, then others." unknown tarnsman, Kajira of Gor
"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle", Captain Mal Reynolds.
"Next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face", Captain Mal Reynolds.
"Women have advice columnists. Men have bartenders", Carry On by Kathy Kellogg.
"Chips, Whips, Chains and Dips", Lisa in Weird Science, describing her plans for a party.
" WE don't do fires. Firemen do fires. We do firebolts." from Charmed.
"Even Eternity doesn't last forever" Yu-Gi-Oh movie.
"Go ahead and run. You'll only die tired!" Wolfe Deckard
"Fell deeds awake! Now for wrath, now for ruin and a Red Dawn!" King Theoden, The Two Towers.
"Stop stepping on my two left feet!"
"If you have to aim, you aren't using enough firepower."
"There is no problem you can't solve with the proper appliction of explosives."
"The pen is mightier then the sword, but, the tank is mightier then free space."
"You are all vultures...with very good taste!", London Tipton.
"She married outside her species. He was a Jack-ass"' Matlock.
"It's not a party until the SIM crashes."
"Dreams coming true in thongs."
"There is no "I" in Team. There is a "ME" though if you jumble it up," House,MD.
"Don't put your dick in crazy!" 2 the ranting gryphon.
"The flogging will continue until morale improves."unknown.
"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?", unknown.
"Cuisine comes in ounces. Real food comes in pounds.", unknown.
"Get your ass off of there!", my daughter, at a kid that took her chair. I'm so proud!
"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of someone that is trying to kill me."
"Sowwy rohjah, yoo tigah now" chineese tatoo artist to the guy who
(while possibly drunk) had tiger stripes tatood all over his body in a
comcast commercial.
"Always keep an open mind; but not so open that your brains fall out."
"Where there's Duct Tape, there's hope" Cross Time Cafe.
"...There's surely no more depressing coiffure than the receding Mohawk," M. Brottman in the article Goth's Wan Stamina.
"Normal isn't somthing to aspire to, It's something to get away from," Jodie Foster.
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure," Anonymous.
"Imagination is the only weapon against reality," Anonymous.
"Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it is up to women
to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable
to have dinner with," Anonymous.
"Buying a used rental car is like going to a house of ill repute to look for a wife." Jeff Foxworthy.
"Just because you are an Angel doesn't mean you can't kick ass once in
a while" Ramos the Elder. Charmed season 5. Witches In Tights.
"Pants are made for men and not for women. Women are made for men and
not for pants. When a man pants for a woman and a woman pants for a
man, that makes a pair of pants," quoted by Zephyr Pennell.
"You see crap, I see craportunity," George Lopez.
"How am I supposed to herd sheep on a bike?" man on Princess Diaries 2.
"Hey! M&M's are distributed by Master Foods! I think they should be called S&M's", rita, after reading a candy wrapper.
"...to improve a situation despite the absence of complaints..." A line
from one of my college textbooks. It just struck me as a profound
statement!
"You do not have to believe in Gravity, but you will hit the ground
just as hard as the person that does." Dr. Friedlander, management
consultant.
"You can never have too much of something you don't need."
" 'The Secret Garden' is a children's book. You bought 'My Secret Garden'. THAT book I don't even want YOU to read!"
"Twice I have felt the touch of her hand on my face...See the scar?" a Jagermonster in Girl Genius.
"Friends don't let friends drink friends" Tru Blood advertisement.
"Just because he's religious doesn't mean he wont kick your ASS", someone on House.
"Gluttons for punishment often find their meals", Amber, DMFA #838."What? We spanked you. Sometimes in the face." Bennie on the George Lopez show.
"Staring at him all moody, like he shits unicorns." Tom in "Made of Honor", griping about a guy his friend wants to marry.
"I wish my lawn was so emo it would cut itself", Mileryen in Shards of Dalaya.
"Don't stand out, be outstanding", Some final advice I gave my son before he shipped out to the navy during his final week home.